The Moment I Realized I Might Be Too Old for This Shit or, My Night at a DJ Snake Concert

DJ Snake at Echostage in Washington, DC. August, 2015.

There have been few moments in my life where I’ve been made to feel old… and it’s because, well, I’m not. At 25, the world is still my oyster. Though it may not be as indulgent as during those precious college years, I can still live impulsively and free of major responsibilities like a mortgage, kids, and a hubby at home. But the progression of my evening at Echostage last Saturday night lead me to conclude that I’m inching further away from that carefree lifestyle…voluntarily.

DJ Snake was supposed to be another epic night at Echostage, but it turned out to be an eye-opening experience into the subtle ways your tastes change  as you grow into adulthood.

I present to you the timeline of my epiphany:

9:30 p.m.

Anita and I have just left our place, we’re ready to take on the night. Sneakers on our feet, pep in our step. We continuously gush about how much fun we’re going to have tonight. “OMG WHEN ‘LEAN ON’ COMES ON.”

9:45 p.m.

While walking down 14th street, I pause in front of a small corner store and turn to Anita, “should we get some turn up juice?” It’s mutually agreed that yes, we must acquire turn up juice.

9:50 p.m.

Chugging Red Bulls as we walk down the street. Feeling invincible.

10:30 p.m.

After spending 20 minutes on our feet at a pregame, we need to find somewhere to sit.

10:40 p.m.

“Oh man, this couch is comfortable!”

11:00 p.m.

We’re in an Uber XL heading to Echostage. The one person with us who has never been before is baffled by how long we’ve been in the car.

11:05 p.m.

My crew discovers that DJ Snake isn’t taking the stage until 1 a.m. A hot flash of panic hits my body.

11:20 p.m.

Echostage is the most packed I’ve ever seen it in the three years it’s been open. There is nowhere to place yourself where you can avoid people that are a) still in their teens b) ambassadors for ratchet or c) worst case scenario, both.

11:45 p.m.

Anita and I go outside for air. As we look around, we notice that we’re truly in terrible company. We’re approached by a boy wearing a terrifying pig mask who tells us he’s part of ISIS. His horrified friend rushes over, trying to drag him away, apologizing for this fool’s absurdities.

12:00 a.m.

WE STILL HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE DJ SNAKE COMES ON.

12:15 a.m.

Anita and I relocate to the back of the venue, as it’s the only spot where we can breathe and dance freely. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to get into it, the opener (some guy named Wuki) is absolute shit.

12:25 a.m.

The topic of leaving Echostage is surfaced. Maybe we should go to a neighborhood bar on U street instead? My thought is interrupted by a shirtless man squeezing past me to get to the bar — however, he leaves his sweat behind…on my face.

12:35 a.m.

A guy who’s half my height and probably half my age asks me if I “want to chill.” Does that line work on anyone? Even teens deserve better than that.

12:45 a.m.

“We only need to last 15 more minutes let’s wait until he comes out.”

1:00 a.m.

Fireball shots.

1:05 a.m.

Sweet baby Jesus. We never thought we’d make it but we did. DJ Snake has taken the stage and it is ABSOLUTELY FIRE.

DJ Snake at Echostage in Washington, DC. August, 2015.


1:30 a.m.

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!

2:10 a.m.

Everything. Just say yes to turning down.

2:15 a.m.

I turn to Anita and say the magic words “I’m ready if you are…” She grabs my arm in sweet relief and the two of us summon an Uber to liberate us from the sweaty prison we should have known better than to walk into.

2:30 a.m.

Sitting in the back of our Uber, slowly making our way toward the coziness of home, I turn to Anita. “We’re too old for that shit.”

The time we spent dancing to DJ Snake was a blast and he was just as incredible as I remembered him being at Ultra 2014. Unlike the opener, DJ Snake didn’t just follow a pattern of predictable drop followed by boring drop followed by predictable drop. He seamlessly blended his hit tracks with older, hugely-popular songs and he even brought out Swizz Beatz! But it was the first time I felt so annoyed by circumstances outside of my control at a rave that it affected my ability to have a good time.

And that, friends, is how you know you might be getting too old for that shit.

Turn Up Tuesdays Vol.13: New Major Lazer & DJ Snake, Jack U, George Maple, and So Much More

Lots of artists dropped new tunes this week, so for the first time in a while it was hard to decide what to include on this little ten-track list. My personal favorite is the new Major Lazer track, it’s been on repeat for the past 24 hours. Take in these sweet, sweet tunes today xx